Goodbye Yasser

Well, Yasser Arafat is dead.

This is a shame, but let's face it - he had a good innings.

I met him once. It was a few years ago and we were in the Golden Tulip Hotel in Amsterdam. He was really pissed with George Bush at the time. Not for any of the obvious reasons. He had been at a dinner party in Monte Carlo and George Bush had spat in his soup. Very bad manners, I am sure you would agree.

.

Yasser told me many stories that rosy afternoon. He told me of his third cousin who had just been ran out of the Strip for harrassing a local goat. Last I heard the goat had made its way to California in an effort to shake off these memories, but ended up committing suicide after being captured by Special Operations Forces and being forced to undergo horrific staring procedures. Anyone can appreciate the wide-eyed fear that proximity to Special Ops would create.

Yasser also told me about the time he toyed with cutting an LP of his speeches backed with the wall of sound of Phil Spector - that was a missed opportunity. Spector had come over to Lebanon with John Lennon and Harry Nilsson in tow. Both Lennon and Nilsson had expected a Che Guevara type character, and despite Yasser's charismatic style were left a little disappointed. But all three were completely fed up when Yasser refused to hook them up with some girls and a little hash. Spector retired to the armoury, while Lennon and Nilsson cut to the streets. Spector lightened up a little after Yasser promised to let him head out after dark with a couple automatics, and they headed to the studio. The final deal-breaker came, however, when Spector realised the lack of over-dubbing facilities in Yasser's home studio. All three left the following day muttering about the lack of late-night drinking holes... Lennon wrote 'Stranger's Room' about the experience, although he had to re-arrange the lyrics slightly. Yasser was stoic about the experience. While he knew that the LP would be a cult smash that might give him that extra bit of credibility with the youth market, he decided afterwards that it would have cost him rootsy earthiness that was so vital in the Palestinian Struggle.

Best yet, was when he told me about a fancy dress party in the late 80s when he went dressed as De Gaulle. It was a huge mistake as there were a bunch of Algerians that just didn't see the funny side. I could not do justice to that story - hopefully it will appear of the forthcoming box-set of his stories, speeches and anecdotes. That will be such a smash! Pre-order your copy now!

Coincidentally, I met Harriet Harmen for the first time that day. We had corresponded for some time previously, but never actually met. She is such a charming lady. Filthy habits, of course - but I don't know about you, but that just makes her all the more alluring. She had got lost wandering the back streets, and approached me from behind - not recognising me, of course. She sounded so pathetic and pitiful as she asked for directions that I almost took her for a crack-whore. It was only when I turned to answer that I saw her face and instantly we shared hugs, and we hopped in a cab back to my hotel (paid for on the company's dollar, of course!). She wanted to stay and promised to be good, but I had an appointment at the embassy - and besides I wasn't sure that I trusted her.

We have met many more times since then, but those stories will have to wait for another True Life Adventure.